Chapter 17

Put One Foot In Front Of The Other...
Losing the ability to walk was one of the hardest things that I ever had to swallow in my life.  There were several steps to getting back to where I was before TB took control.  First, I would have to kill all of the bacteria inside my body.  Then, repair all of the damage and get back to a healthy weight.  After that, I need to rebuild and strengthen my muscles.  Lastly, I will have to learn to walk again.  Whew!  That's a tall order but I know I can do it.  Since I have been taking medication for about a month now, the bacteria is well on it's way to being wiped out.  Getting back to my fighting weight and strengthening my muscles will be an ongoing journey.  Now walking on the other hand...  There was a knock at the door and it slowly opened.  "Hello Ricky, my name is Carla and I am gonna be one of your physical therapists.  So can you move your legs at all?" Carla asked.  "Hey Carla, I can't move them off the side of the bed without assistance but I can move them around a little," I said.  "Okay, no problem.  We are gonna come three times a week and see if we can't get you walking again.  I am gonna start you off with some leg exercises today and next time I will see what you can do with a walker," she said.  Damn a walker.  I never thought about that part of therapy.  Am I gonna be handicapped for the rest of my life?  "Okay, let's do it.  I will do whatever it takes to walk normally again," I said.  She adjusted the bed so I was laying flat and she moved all of the covers off of my legs.  She had me do individual leg raises.  My legs would shake uncontrollably because my muscles were  pretty weak. I did as much as I could. We continued with a couple more leg exercises until my muscles gave out.  Oh man, that was a good workout.  I can feel it in my abs and my thighs," I explained.  "That's good. I want you to do these on your own but don't over do it.  That's all we are gonna do today. Do you need anything today?" asked Carla.  "Nope I am good.  Thank you for a good session," I told her.  "You are welcome and don't worry cause this will be a process.  Don't expect too much too soon," she said.  After giving me a few more words of encouragement, she said bye and walked out of the door.  About that time, my nurse returned to give me my evening dose of pills.  "I'm back and i have your meds," the chocolate bandit said.  "Oh goodie.  How are things going out there?" I asked.  "It's pretty busy.  I think your night nurses will only have 10 patients to care for tonight," she added.  "Oh is that all?" I asked sarcastically.  "After you finish your pills, I have your blood thinner too," she said.  My blood thinner comes in the form of a shot until the levels are high enough in my blood for me to take the pill.  It came in a tiny needle; however, the shot had to be given in my stomach.  My body fat percentage was always low plus throw in the fact that I lost weight and ouch.  Right in the abs twice a day.  I felt like a pin cushion.  "Okay I am ready Lisa.  Please be gentle," I pleaded.

Chapter 16

How Many Nurses Does It Take To...

While in ONLY a hospital gown and all sickly, I wasn't feeling my most attractive.  When it came to personal hygiene, I wasn't really on top of my game for a couple different reasons.  One being the fact that I just lacked the motivation to groom.  Another being the fact that I didn't have the energy to stand for very long so having a lot of comfortable mirror time was out of the question. 

As it turned out, there were quite a few nurses working at the hospital who were students at one of the local colleges.  I guess it was sort of like a residency program or something.  Either way, I didn't mind some of the scenery.  Like I said before, if you have to get some personalized health care, then it is definitely more pleasant coming from a woman.  Let's do the nurses shuffle....  "Hello Ricky!  My name is Tammy and I am gonna be one of your day time nurses.  I never worked with you but I heard about you," she said.  I was a little bit confused but okay maybe I heard it wrong.  She was a youthful looking, average sized black woman with a nice smile.  I could tell that I was getting better because I gave her the head-to-toe once over.  Let's just say baby's got back.  "Hello Tammy!" I said.  "Are you currently in any pain?" she asked.  "Nope not at all," I answered.  She proceeded to take my vital signs.  When the machine stopped she had a concerned look on her face.  "Now why is your heart rate so high?" the nurse asked.  "I don't know.  I haven't been moving around much," I responded.  She paused for a moment and had a big smile on her face.  "See you were supposed to say because I am near you," nurse Tammy said.  All I could do is laugh because she was right.  I would have never missed that opening if I was on top of my game.  "Yeah, I must be slippin," I replied.  "Okay well I am gonna go finish my rounds.  Do you need anything else?" Tammy asked.  "Yes I need some ice and some juice please," I told her.  She acknowledged what I said and continued straightening up the room.  "All right mister man I will be back with your stuff.  I wonder what you look like all shaved up?  Do you have your razor here?" she asked.  By this time, I had not shaved nor cut my hair for about a month and a half so it was pretty long.  "No I don't have it," I said.  "Hmm...just a thought.  Bye Ricky!" she said as she walked out the door.  Over the years, I had gotten used to a certain amount of attention so it felt good; almost normal.  I am gonna have fun with this.  I got to remember to ask my mom to bring my clippers up here the next time she comes for a visit.  Suddenly, there was a kncok at the door.  There was a very petit brunette wearing a hospital uniform; however, I could tell she wasn't a nurse.  She had a minimal amount of make up on and a very big smile.  "Hello Ricky Kendall?" she asked.

Chapter 15

Eeny Meeny Miny Mo....

Along with the CAT scan, doctor Stevens wanted another chest x-ray.  I guess enough time had passed to see if the infection had started clearing up.  Before he told me that my right lung had quite a bit of infection.  Okay, let's see if all of these pills have been doing any good.  My room door swung open...  "I can't believe this.  I don't need this crap.  My mom is sick and I need this job," nurse Angela said.  Oh no, here we go; Miss congeniality.  "Good morning Angela! What's wrong?" I asked.  "Why don't they ever take these trays out before they leave?  They need to empty out this trash too," she added.  "I couldn't tell you," I said.  "You got to let them know Ricky," she insisted.  Again I am not on the payroll and, in an effort not to tell her off, I bit my tongue.  She continued running around the room , slowing down only to take my vitals.  And just like that, she was gone.  There was a knock at the door.  Two x-ray technicians were at the door.  Since I was in isolation, my doctor had them bring a machine to my room.  I thought it was pretty cool because I didn't want to be wheeled downstairs.  It took longer for them to fit the machine through the door than it did to take the x-ray.  Now, all I had to do is wait on the doctor.  The CAT scan showed that there was a blood clot in one lung but the ultrasound didn't show any more in my legs.  It's funny how things work out.  Again, had I been discharged,  I would not have known about the blood clot until it was too late.  ALWAYS trust your instincts!  I saw doctor Stevens through the window.  I wonder what the verdict is?  He entered the room.  "Hello Ricky. Are you in any pain?" he asked.  "Nope I don't have any pain; just the numbness in my feet and lower legs," I stated.  "Okay, I had a chance to look at your x-ray.  And... the original infection in your right lung appears to be clearing up; however, your left lung has a few spots now.  Do you think you will be able to cough up some phlegm?" he asked.  "Probably not because I haven't even coughed much this whole time," I told him.  "Scratch that.  I am gonna order another broncoscope so they can go into your left lung and take a tissue sample," he decided.  "Okay so now both lungs are infected?" I asked.  "Well, I wanna take a sample to see exactly what's going on in there," he explained.  At this rate, I am gonna have to spend my birthday and Thanksgiving in a hospital bed.  Who knows maybe even Christmas.  I can't wait until I can get around good enough that I don't have to depend on a nurse to use the bathroom.  Sometimes I sat on the pot for 30 minutes or more waiting on assistance.  My physical therapy starts tomorrow so I have my fingers crossed.  I can do this, I can do this...  

Chapter 14

Here Comes The Chocolate Bandit....

This particular nurse was one of my favorites!  She was a younger white woman who had a pleasant disposition and a very feminine aura.  We would always chit chat a little more than I did with most nurses in a very innocent yet flirty way.  "Hello Ricky! Did you get a chance to talk to your mom last night?  I saw you knocked out when I left," she asked.  "Yeah we talked, as a matter of fact, I was gonna call her right now," I responded.  Nurse Lisa hooked me up to the machine and checked my vital signs.  When she finished, I immediately called my mom.  "Hello ma, how are you doing tonight?" I greeted her.  "Hello, I am doing just fine and how are you feeling?" she asked.  "Oh I am feeling pretty good considering," I said.  My nurse was within ear shot so she could hear what I said.  "Tell mom that I said hi," Lisa said.  "Hey ma, the "chocolate bandit" said hello," I told her.  Yes the chocolate bandit and no it's not what you might be thinking so get your mind out of the gutter.  There was one night that I was on the phone with my mom and Lisa was around.  Well, a peppermint patty commercial came on tv and I mentioned that I was craving some chocolate to my mom.  That night, I had fell asleep and then, I woke up with just enough time to see a shadowy figure leave my room.  When I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I noticed several pieces of chocolate on my table.  I found out the next night that Lisa had hooked me up; hence the name chocolate bandit.  "Ricky tell her that I said hello and how is she doing?" my mom replied.  "She said hi and she asked how are you?" I told Lisa.  "Thank you, I am doing fine," she shouted so my mom could hear.  "She is really nice! I like her," my mom said.  "Yeah she's nice but she's pretty sneaky too," I joked.  In the middle of my telephone conversation, my nurse left the room.  Like most nights, I continued talking to my mom until either the lab technician showed up or I couldn't hold my eyes open.  I woke up to....  "Hello Ricky!  Are you in any pain this morning?" Roy asked.  "Nope buddy.  Good morning and how are you?" I responded.  "I am doing great,"  he said.  "Cool stuff! So let me guess, you brought me my horse pill cocktail," I laughed.  "Yeah but on the bright side, breakfast is served too," he added.  The horse pill reference was an inside joke describing this huge potassium pill that I had to take daily.  Roy had to watch me swallow all of my pills and I would break that one in half.  The rough edges of it still kinda scraped my throat on the way down.  "Oh you are gonna love me today," Roy said.  "Oh no, what's the story?" I asked.  Roy put my pills and breakfast on the table and positioned it so all I had to do was sit up and I could eat.  "Well, you are scheduled for an ultrasound of your legs to check to see if there are any more blood clots.  That is gonna go down today," Roy said.  Good thing my breakfast was hot today because I needed a little feel good time. 

Chapter 13

Thank GOD For Miracles...

In the midst of the nurses shuffle, some stood out and some just blended in with the background.  One in particular was in the forefront because of her unique attitude.  She was an older black lady that was very petite in stature.  She wore eye glasses and had a permanent pissed off facial expression.  "Hello Mr. Kendall, my name is Angela and I am gonna be one of your nurses during the day this week," she informed me.  She had a stern look across her face.  "Why don't they empty the trash or clean up this floor before they left?" she asked.  Huh?  She was asking me as though I knew the answer or even cared for that matter.  "I have no idea," I said.  She proceeded to strap me up and insert a thermometer in my mouth for vitals.  "See I am not trying to get fired because of someone else's laziness," she stated.  "I couldn't tell you why," I explained.  She unhooked me from the machine, wrote something down, and then moved around the room like she was on roller skates.  "Next time tell them to take out the trash and clean up around here," she insisted.  I didn't say a word because I was shocked.  I was thinking... okay I will tell them just as soon as I get put on the payroll.  She left the room almost quicker than she had entered.  I had been awaiting the status of my discharge.  I wasn't ready to go because I still couldn't walk and I hadn't been on TB medication that long.  I saw my doctor creep up through the window in the door.  "Ricky I have your case manager looking into your living arrangement should I discharge you," doctor Stevens said.  "Alright.  Did you find anything out about my blood pressure?" I asked.  "Well, I am gonna send you downstairs for a CAT scan and I am gonna have a technician come here to give you another chest x-ray," he told me.  Man, I can't keep up: chest x-rays, MRI's, blood transfusions, broncoscopes, and now a CAT scan.  "Oh wow the hits keep coming eh doc?" I asked.  "Well, we think that you have a pulmonary embolism.  That is a blood clot in your lungs.  It would be really bad if it migrated towards your heart.  We can dissolve a blood clot by injecting you with blood thinner," he added.  What is going on? I take one step forward and then two steps back.  GOD is good!  If I would have been discharged last week, then I could have died due to a blood clot blocking circulation in my heart.  "Transport is gonna come up here in an hour or so to take you to your CAT scan and if there are no further questions, I will see you tomorrow," the doctor said.  I guess soon I will find out if I have a blood clot.  If so, I hope it doesn't get to my heart before it can be dissolved.

Chapter 12

Getting Better Or Am I....

After my diagnosis, I felt a lot better about my situation.  At least I found out that recovery was a great likelihood.  There was talk that I would be discharged soon.  What?  It seemed to me as though I wasn't ready.  I was told that I would be discharged and would have to stay with a relative or friend.  I would also be isolated and unable to leave that residence unless in emergency.  Furthermore, I or whomever I lived with would have to don a facial mask to protect them from the harmful TB bacteria.  Great!  A prisoner in my own home.  Oh yeah, and here's the kicker, a nurse would have to come by everyday to watch me take my medication.  There was a knock at my room door...  "Hello Ricky.  How are you doing today?" said doctor Stevens.  "Hello and good morning," I said.  "It looks like we will be discharging you pretty soon.  Do you have anywhere to go?" he asked.  Crap, I didn't want to put anyone out by disrupting their lives with my needy ass.  "Umm I guess I could stay with my mom; however, she is getting older so I don't really want to expose her to all of this," I stated.  The truth is, I did have two sisters and one brother that lived in the area but I didn't think that anybody would want to live life as though they were in isolation.  I was trying to down play my mom as an option in hopes the doctor would decide to let me stay until I fully recovered.  "I see.  And you came from overseas right so you don't have to place of your own correct?" the doctor asked.  "Nope so I don't really have anywhere to go," I explained.  "I am gonna have a nurse take your vitals.  Also, I am gonna check with the Health Department.  I will come by tomorrow and update your discharge status," doctor Stevens told me.  "Okay," I said.  Doctor Stevens left the room and, shortly after, my nurse entered the room.  "Hey there Rick!  I am gonna take your vitals and then I will be right back with your meds," nurse Roy said.  "Alright man and could you bring me some juice and ice?" I asked.  "Sure thing," he said.  He strapped me up, inserted a thermometer in my mouth, and turned on the machine.  He had a worried look upon his face.  "Ah that's not good.  Tell me Rick, do you feel fine?"  Roy asked.  "I feel pretty good; no worse than yesterday," I answered.  "Well your blood pressure is really low and you are running a fever.  Let me check it again to make sure," he said.  He started the machine back up and the results were the same.  "I have to go tell the doctor about this.  I will be right back," the nurse said.  I wonder what's wrong now?

Chapter 11

Who's The Man...

Even though I knew that there were male nurses, it still was a little surprising when a guy showed up at my door.  "Hey what's up man?" the male nurse said.  He walked in the door and it was different seeing a goatee peeking out of the bottom of the facial mask.  Hmm, let's see how this goes.  "Good morning man," I said.  "My name is Ron and I will be your nurse this morning.  My assistant should be by soon to check your vitals.  Are you in pain right now or anything new going on?" Ron asked.  "Nope I am not in any pain.  I was talking to my mom on the phone last night and I got a shortness of breath," I explained.  "Okay I will make sure I leave a note for your doctor.  Now do you have any chest pains?" the nurse asked.  "No Ron I don't have any chest pains.  I do still have some tingling in my lower legs and feet,"  I told him.  He removed the covers from my legs and checked for a pulse in my feet.  He shook his head yes as if to say it was good.  "Hey can you do me a favor and sit up so I can listen to your chest?" he asked.  I sat up and he put his stethoscope against my back and had me take some deep breaths as he listened.  He repeated this on my chest.  "It sounds good; however, I can tell that your right lung is not filling up to its capacity.  That's because your right one has the most infection," Ron said.  We talked about where we were from, what our favorite sports teams were, and how long we were at the hospital.  "Why do you still have this catheter in?  Do you think you would be able to make it to the pot to pee?"  Ron asked.  Now I have a million and one things to think about daily so why add one more?  Although having this tube in my pee hole is not progressing in the right direction, I had gotten comfortable not worrying about trying to make it to use the bathroom.  I didn't appreciate this new guy trying to shake things up.  "Yeah I am gonna recommend to your doctor that I remove it," he said.  No sleep, it's cold as fuck, I can't walk, I have to fight to get barely warm food, and nurse John Wayne here thinks he can just disrupt shit.  What an asshole!  "Cool," I uttered.  "Okay well I am gonna be back with your morning pills and see if I can take this thing out so you can start becoming more independent," he gloated.  Yeah fuck you pal!  If you hadn't noticed I am becoming a little bitter.  Not only that but OUCH!!!  I hate to stereotype, but guys aren't known for being delicate and graceful.  As he turned to leave my room, I had to ask...  "Hey Ron, are you ex-military?" I asked.  "Yes I am.  I was in the U.S. Air Force for 15 years," he replied.  Ha, I knew it!