Sunday, March 11, 2012


We ALL experience adversity in our lives at some time or another.  However, some people do more than others.  Adversity is defined as a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty.  One of the biggest things that make is all unique is how we handle stressful or difficult situations or conditions.  Even though we may have difficulties in life, we must maintain our POSITIVE personal relationships. Not ONLY when we feel good but, maybe more importantly, when we don't.  Why add indifference and uncomfortable situations to the unfortunate things out of our control?  Those POSITIVE relationships can be very fulfilling and help us through those rough times. 
     Don't take things or people for granted!  It's inevitable to loose things or people that are taken for granted.  Whether it's your health or personal relationships, we need to appreciate all of the good that we have.  Once you find something or someone that you want, then you should treat them like you want them.  It's just the beginning.  Even couples that have been together for 50 years still should find ways to express their love and treat one another in a way that reminds them why they fell in love in the first place.  If you really love, cherish, and respect someone, then it should come easy to have a positive and healthy relationship as long as you BOTH want things to grow and flourish. 
     It doesn't make you less of a person or soft or needy or any other adjective with negative implications, to show your feelings, your love, or your desire for them.  It only enhances your relationship! All of that comes with maturity and part of it comes through experience.  Having seen negative relationships, you should know better how to treat positive ones!  Remember maturity doesn't just come with age alone. 
     Just because you now have a comfort level with them, it doesn't mean it's time to forget everything that got you there.  Don't drastically change how you relate to each other unless it is absolutely unavoidable.  For example, if you are in an accident and loose the use of your legs, then you can't go running with them everyday like before.  If you do change, then there are naturally going to be concerns.  Concern is a sign of caring and wanting things to improve.  Why would you think that someone that TRULY loves you is attacking you? You might want to ignore concerns because it seems easier or simply for the fact that it will expose some of your short comings.  That won't help you and it definitely won't help the person with concerns.  ALWAYS solve issues or disputes no matter how big or small. If you feel they are small or insignificant, then they should be really EASY to solve.  Remember you too will have concerns or issues that you will like addressed and solved one day.  As simple as it sounds, you can never go wrong if you treat others the way you want to be treated.
     How do you feel when you know you are wanted and desired?  Well,  that same feeling holds true for your partner.   Now, adversely, how does it feel to go unappreciated and unwanted?  It's important to make time to do the things and address each other the same as you did to get you to the COMFORT ZONE that you now enjoy.  Everything that you both did between each other, created and developed the feelings that you share today.  Again, realizing and acting on all of that knowledge comes with maturity.
     Adversity will always be present in our lives but there's no guarantee that our loved ones will.  We must not be afraid to respect, cherish, and show our love for each other.  Hopefully, we want to hold on to positive relationships and are mature and wise enough to accept and realize how to improve our relationships.  Keep the interest and desire going that started the whole thing and you will be fine.